Counting the Days...
Journal Entry: Tue May 6, 2008, 5:24 PM
- Mood:
Depressed - Listening to: Within Temptation
- Reading: The Diaries of Adam and Eve
- Eating: (refuses to eat)
Most kids count the days until school is over until summer.
I. Hate. Summer.
For years I have hated summer, because for five years I have been babysitting my siblings. Oh yes, the groans, siblings are annoying. Mine suck. Most days the work gets done before the parents get home. Because I spend the whole day arguing with them to do their jobs, harassing them, harping on them and threatening them until stuff gets done. For the past three years my sister has been "old enough to be responsible for herself" i.e. she doesn't have to do anything I tell her to do. So when stuff needs to get done around the house, and she doesn't feel in the mood to do it, she doesn't do it. I've had these discussions with my parent's over and over.
Today was this typical day. Dad called, he's coming home with food. (A repeated experience his him coming home with food and the house is a mess, making him yell that next time we can just fend for ourselves). So I urge my siblings to act. I did a load of laundry, unloaded and loaded the dishwasher. I asked Ryan to clean off and wipe off the counters. He refuses to wipe them off. I ask Reed to start some more laundry, take out the garbage and pick up his pile of blankets. I asked my sister if she would take the dogs for a short walk, when she refused I then begged her to please just take the dogs out to poddy. All my stuff was done and I was still arguing with Reed to pick up the blankets, Ryan to wipe of the counters, and Raeanne to do anything. Finally I had to take the dogs out and dad walks in with shitty Long John Silvers.
There are dishes out in the living room and he yells at us, "I'm doing my favorite thing, picking up after you guys!"
And I complain, again, that I had to argue with my siblings to do what they were supposed to do and they didn't complete everything I asked. That Raeanne didn't do anything because she doesn't have to do anything I ask her.
His response, someday someone is going to ask them to do something and they will refuse and regret it.
No punishment. No reprimand. No "remember the rule is to do what your sister says when she tells you to do it." He told me to calm down.
On the tip of my tongue was: by not punishing them situation is going to be worse around here, without reprimand they will ignore me completely, plus now they will turn around and retaliate against me, because he didn't enforce any punishment any reprimand, ALSO his arguement is entirely mute, they are learning to act differently at home than school, the reason they aren't flunking classes is that they do what their teachers ask them, do you think work is going to be much different? But I didn't say any of that. I'm tired of saying anything.
My dad said, "Calm down."
I said, "And count the days." He walked away.
My dad is the only person I enjoy being in this house with for the majority of the time. I felt a slight pang, because leaving this house means leaving him. But in that moment he turned his back on me.
What because he was tired from work?
I guarantee I do more work at school than he ever did or does now.
Then I come home and fight with his kids to make him happy.
My dad wasted $20 each on us on what he knew was a tourist trap on a vacation because we wanted to go, he would do anything to make us happy. And my siblings won't get off their ass and take out the dogs he bought and still pays for. I hate them.
So yes, right now as I listen to my music loud enough so that I can't hear my siblings walk or talk, loud enough that my ears hurt with every note, I am counting the days.
Devious Comments
don't do that!
--
you're just so wonderful.
and miss you.
its been a day, but whatever.
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you're just so wonderful.
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Someone stole the river!
and sorry, I speak spanish and english only.
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"Such civil war is in my love and hate..." -Shakespeare
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My Website : Pascale Marry
Forgive my broken English .
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My Website : Pascale Marry
Forgive my broken English .
Wow! You really are a brilliant poet, aren't you?
Why don't you join the poetry contest from [link] ?
It's free and every nitwit such as myself who enters gets a small gift
but someone like you might win one of their $10 000 or $100 000 prizes.
Send this to at least 15 people you love, including me if you care for me!
And if you get at least 10 back, you will recieve good news within 15 minutes!
~Let's see how many hearts you get! =]
All the best. Please continue sending you're own love to those you care for.
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"Chuck Norris is a namby-pamby."
Has you to be seeing of =Org-infinity yet?
please don't hate me
--
My pencil flew across the page and all that was left in reality was a whisper.
Butterfly Kisses, and Eagle Dreams
RJ Whisper
--
hn...
--
Great minds often fail their owners.
"San" is the "supercalifragilisticexpialadocious" of Japanese. . . . I like their version better.
Immortal time travelling transvestives are not what the world needs. -thepioden
--
Great minds often fail their owners.
"San" is the "supercalifragilisticexpialadocious" of Japanese. . . . I like their version better.
Immortal time travelling transvestives are not what the world needs. -thepioden
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